Children of mine

I absolutely love these children of mine.....

God has certainly blessed my husband and I with four beautiful children. They are each unique with individual strengths and weaknesses. I am sure that unlike many parents I have wavered in my ability to raise them properly and to give them all that they need in life. But I am reassured every time Satan whispers in my ear that I am a poor excuse for a mother, lazy, selfish, ill-tempered, harsh, uncaring ...the list goes on and on. I know that while in my flesh much of that is true of me, I am a sinner indeed. I can rest assured that my precious God is ultimately in charge of their lives not me. I have been given them for a time and I treasure each passing year that I have with them. I love my job of being a mother and teacher to them. It is the hardest job on earth, but also the most rewarding! I would never trade the loving hugs and kisses or snuggles on the couch and the twisting of my hair between little fingers. No job could ever compare with those benefits. I often feel inadequate to give them all that they need, but thankfully it isn't all up to me. They belong to the Lord and I trust Him to equip them with all they need in life.

We have been trying to conceive for a little over a year now with one very short pregnancy ending in miscarry. I have learned much this past year. I know that while at times of my life I have been extremely fertile, that I can't expect that to always be so. I ultimately know that my conceiving isn't only up to me and my husband but all life comes from the Author of Life. I have learned that I must patiently wait upon my Lord. If he so chooses to bless me with another child I will gladly rejoice, if He doesn't I will still rejoice in the gifts I have already been given. I have also seen how God has blessed me with dear friends whom entrust me to help with caring for their children. I have been grateful to help another young mother in my church this year as I babysit her toddler and infant from time to time. I am grateful to be able to assist and love this sweet family. We love children. My children love children. I am so grateful for this. My daughter has also had to learn to pray and wait on the Lord. She frequently asks when we will be able to adopt a sister for her. She wants a sister desperately and has quit asking me every month if I could be pregnant this time. She is anxious to add to our family as is my husband and I. My 16 year old son is great with kids. They are drawn to him and engage him and he sweetly plays with them and becomes their friends. He has a new pal at church a 4 year old little guy has just bonded with Robbie and he searches him out when we are gathered at church. Robbie picks him up and chats with him. It is such a blessing to see a young man interested in little ones. I know he will be a great father one day.

Wes and I have talked off and on through the years about adopting children. Many years ago we saw a documentary on TV about orphans in Russia, little babies left in beds for months and years with very little touch or understanding of love. That broke our hearts and we spoke about the possibility of adopting one day. We have many friends who have adopted for various reasons but every time I considered looking into it seriously, I became discouraged because of the finances required. We have been working hard to pay off our debts. We aren't done yet, but getting closer each year. We certainly don't have money set aside for adoption. We would end up thinking, well if God wants this to happen, we'll have the money for it someday. I have another friend who contacted me recently asking me if I could ever adopt. This got me to thinking seriously about it again and I began praying about it and talking to Wes. (To his credit he was ready to adopt a year ago when we were undergoing his vasectomy reversal.) I just wasn't ready to pursue it just yet. As I began praying and researching. God kept showing me that this was something to seriously pursue. I spoke with several who adopted about their experiences and gathered data. I also spoke in depth with a friend who adopted almost a year ago. She assured me that I would have doubts all throughout the process but that ultimately God laid this on my heart for a purpose and would see me through. I began researching agencies and types of adoptions and as we prayed about it and talked through details, we feel like at this time the best route for us to pursue is local adoption through the state CPS system. They have a program called foster to adopt in which you are matched with a child and upon your agreement that child comes into your home and after 6 months the adoption is finalized. Many children in the state are considered special needs but this doesn't always mean that they have severe disabilities. They may wear glasses or simply be a minority. The state offers very low cost adoptions in these cases. My friend's adoption entailed very minimal cost. She has a beautiful loving little girl. She has been a great encouragement to me as I dip my feet into these unknown waters. She has been a great source of information to get me started on my journey. I am so grateful for her guidance and prayers. We are also reading a book together called "Adopted for Life" by Russell D. Moore. It not only gives great information to those interested in adoption but links with it the picture of our spiritual adoption in Christ. This is a great motivation for us as we pursue adoption. We are also hoping and praying that others in our church will be motivated to pray about adoption as well if we are able to successfully adopt at a low cost. Financial issues are a big reason that many don't pursue adoption. If churches would follow the mandate to care for orphans and widows, there would be a lesser need for foster homes and orphanages. I know that all are not called to adopt. I also know that our personal adoption criteria is fairly narrow. We don't feel called to adopt a severely special needs child at this time, for fear of that child's care drawing us away from the responsibilities we have to our current children. We also don't wish to adopt a child who is school age or older. Since we are homeschooling, this would mean that a child in our home during the 6 months prior to adoption being finalized would have to go to a public school. I don't think this would encourage family bonding to have to send them away for this amount of time. So I know that we are looking at a narrow selection and this may mean that it will take a very long time to be matched to a child. I am in no hurry and I know that if God is leading us to adopt, that He will match us to the perfect child for our family and in the perfect timing. I will wait patiently on the Lord and put my trust in Him. In the mean time, I will pray for these children of mine, those in my home and those who will be one day. I pray for that child or children who will become a part of our family forever. I pray God protects them and comforts them until they can be in our arms.